“Ok, so you’ll just need to sign the contract and email it back, then your assigned family specialist is going to call about two kids for you.”
This is what my Foster Care Agent said to me on the phone yesterday morning and I almost spit out my coffee! Just like that, this little lean towards wanting to help children became a living, breathing thing.
My brain is dancing around, wondering if I have enough snacks in the pantry. Who slept in which bed last night and which sheets need to be changed? Should I straighten up the kids area or let them know straight away how messy things can get around here? Have I prepped my own children enough? What about schools? What about family visits? How do I document medicines again? Do they need car seats? What if their Santa isn’t white? All I have are white Santas plastered everywhere! I need to go to the store right now and get some brown ones. Forget it! JUST REMOVE ALL THE SANTAS!
I am not ready.
Where are they RIGHT now? Are they scared? Did they just have the single worst day of their life or is this just another bad day in a string of them? Did the people they trust the most just betray them in all the worst ways? Have they ever felt what it’s like to lean on hope, protect themselves with faith, be completely, shamelessly, sometimes embarrassingly surrounded with love? We are just sitting here with all of this in abundance. We have so, so much to share!
I am totally ready.